Homo disappointment occurs when it is widely reported that men such as Malcolm X, Will Smith and/or Duane Martin had any sexual contact with another man, at any age. It’s almost as bad as discovering Snoop Dogg is only giving up fire pit smoke.

The popular idea of a “real man” is strictly straight, virile, responsible, and decisive. He is part of the “father figure” that appeals to the need to feel taken care of and watched over as part of a family. No matter how many times these patriarchal figures fail us, too many people continue to long for such heroic, sanitized men.

Casual or consenting sexual conduct between men, even years ago, destroys the image of the father figure, and invokes prejudice which diminishes the character and intelligence of the man who has now been exposed. The social judgment is quick and detrimental. Others learn, once again, that covering up is essential.